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In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy – When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery – When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery, When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,Īnd when I know precisely what is meant by " commissariat", When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin, In fact, when I know what is meant by " mamelon" and " ravelin", Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,Īnd tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform: Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore, Īnd whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore. I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes! I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies, In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus, I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox, I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's I am the very model of a modern Major-Gineral. In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
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I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
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With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse. I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,Ībout binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news, I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historicalįrom Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-Gineral, Wolseley himself, according to his biographer, took no offence at the identification and sometimes sang "I am the very model of a modern Major-General" for the private amusement of his family and friends. Nevertheless, in the original London production, George Grossmith imitated Wolseley's mannerisms and appearance, particularly his large moustache, and the audience recognised the allusion. The biographer Michael Ainger, however, doubts that Gilbert intended a caricature of Wolseley, identifying instead the older General Henry Turner, an uncle of Gilbert's wife whom Gilbert disliked, as a more likely inspiration for the satire. The character of Major-General Stanley was widely taken to be a caricature of the popular general Sir Garnet Wolseley. The piece is difficult to perform because of the fast pace and tongue-twisting nature of the lyrics. Interpolated business occurs here, and in each case he finds a rhyme and finishes the verse with a flourish. The stage directions in the libretto state that at the end of each verse the Major-General is "bothered for a rhyme". The song is replete with historical and cultural references, in which the Major-General describes his impressive and well-rounded education in non-military matters, but he says that his military knowledge has "only been brought down to the beginning of the century". The song satirises the idea of the "modern" educated British Army officer of the latter 19th century. Sung by Major-General Stanley at his first entrance, towards the end of Act I, the character introduces himself by presenting his résumé and admitting to a few shortcomings. It has been called the most famous Gilbert and Sullivan patter song. " I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" (often referred to as the " Major-General's Song" or " Modern Major-General's Song") is a patter song from Gilbert and Sullivan's 1879 comic opera The Pirates of Penzance. Gilbert & Sullivan song Henry Lytton as the Major-General (1919) Drawing from 1884 children's Pirates